


voltron is a meme

by jilliancares



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Getting Together, Group chat, Humor, M/M, Texting, bc i couldn't help myself, i expect lots of laughs, teeeeeny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 09:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14352450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jilliancares/pseuds/jilliancares
Summary: Group Message to: Lance and +9 972-888-2022Lance:shut the fuck up+9 972-888-2022:i haven’t even said anything yet!+9 972-888-2022:rudeLance:PIDGE CAN’T MAKE PHONESLance:THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE OKAYPidge:say that to my faceLance:if you can make HUNK a PHONE then you can make ME a PROPER FACE LOTIONPidge:gdi lance lotion isn’t the same as technologyLance:i fucking hate uLance:you CAN’T tell me you can build a phone out of nothing and not even make me a lotionPidge:i don’t even know what goes IN lotionPidge:i haven’t moisturized a day in my lifeLance:you Take That BackIn which Team Voltron canonically gets a group chat, Lance hates change, memes are sacred, and Keith and Lance's crushes are obvious to everyone except them.





	voltron is a meme

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FangirlKats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlKats/gifts).



> HEY GUYS!! this fic is a birthday present for my dear, wonderful, lovely, amazing friend kat!!! i'm actually posting it a day early bc i've been holding onto this idea and parts of this fic since october now and i literally can't wait another day, but we have her birth to thank for this work of genius. the title comes from me not knowing what to call it in my word document and accidentally growing attached to the name ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> on the behalf of kat, please enjoy!!! <3

**[14/65/20076 — 12:17]**

**Direct Message to: Lance**

**1 New Message from: Pidge**

**Pidge:** hey

**Lance:** i KNOW this is a dream bc my phone Doesn’t Work in space, but i’m gonna appreciate this for what it is

**Pidge:** not a dream but ok

**Lance:** stfu dream pidge, you Can’t trick me

**Pidge:** i totally could trick you if i wanted to

**Pidge:** also this isn’t a dream

**Pidge:** i rewired a system in the ship and used some old altean junk to make a router. technically we can only text each other bc of the wifi but no reception would be able to reach another planet anyway so

**Lance:** pls tell me this is real

**Lance:** PLS tell me this isn’t a dream

**Lance:** or else when i wake up i will smack the real pidge for letting dream pidge trick me

**Pidge:** omfg gimme a sec

**Lance:**???

**Lance:** OW WTF

**Lance:** YOU DIDN’T NEED TO COME IN HERE AND PINCH ME

**Lance:** and then run away before i could even say anything??? therefore making me have to text my complaints to you, like a common plot device

**Pidge:** anyway

**Pidge:** yeah not a dream

**Pidge:** so ?? you're welcome???

**Lance:** well i still don’t understand why u even did this in the first place

**Lance:** like,,, we’ve got this far without needing to use our phones

**Lance:** why now

**Lance:** when we finally became un-addicted, just like all those baby boomers wanted us to

**Pidge:** i MISSED texting okay

**Pidge:** like sometimes i don’t want to talk to your face

**Pidge:** no offense

**Lance:** hmmm

**Lance:** none taken

**Pidge:** plus now i don’t even have to leave my room to talk to anyone

**Lance:** and by anyone you mean me

**Lance:** i’m p sure no one else even has their phones anymore

**Lance:** like ?? didn’t hunk just fuckin,,,, chuck his into space when he realized it wouldn’t work anymore??

**Pidge:** oh yeah

**Pidge:** i think that was more from anger than apathy though

**Lance:** ok but either way his phone is Gone

**Lance:** and all you have to talk to is ME >:D

**Pidge:** …

**Pidge:** i’m gonna make him a phon  

**Lance:** lmaoooo

**Lance:** even YOU can’t make a phone

**Lance:** i guarantee it

 

 

**[14/68/20076 — 9:31]**

**Direct Message to: Lance**

**Pidge added: +9 972-888-2022**

**Group Message to: Lance and +9 972-888-2022**

**Lance:** shut the fuck up

**+9 972-888-2022:** i haven’t even said anything yet!

**+9 972-888-2022:** rude

**Lance:** PIDGE CAN’T MAKE PHONES

**Lance:** THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE OKAY

**Pidge:** say that to my face

**Lance:** if you can make HUNK a PHONE then you can make ME a PROPER FACE LOTION

**Pidge:** gdi lance lotion isn’t the same as technology

**Lance:** i fucking hate u

**Lance:** you CAN’T tell me you can build a phone out of nothing and not even make me a lotion

**Pidge:** i don’t even know what goes IN lotion

**Pidge:** i haven’t moisturized a day in my life

**Lance:** you Take That Back

**Pidge:** mmmmm dry and flaky!

**Pidge:** just the way i like it!!!!

**+9 972-888-2022:** oh god pidge don’t rile him up like that

**+9 972-888-2022:** i hear someone running down the hall???

**+9 972-888-2022:** betcha a million gac that it’s lance

**Pidge:** fjakdf;A’FA’

**Pidge:** HE ATTACKED ME

**+9 972-888-2022:** pay UP !

**Pidge:** HE MOISTURIZED ME

**+9 972-888-2022:** BAHAHHAHAA

**Pidge:** IT STINGS

**Lance:** it’s GOOD for you

**Lance:** your skin will Thank you

**Pidge:** i will destroy you lance

**Pidge:** i could make it so JUST YOUR PHONE couldn’t access the wifi

**Lance:** never threaten a man’s wifi, pidge

**Lance:** never

**+9 972-888-2022:** guys this is nice

**+9 972-888-2022:** i’ve missed typing!!!

**+9 972-888-2022:** i think my thumbs are thanking me :’) you’re welcome thumbs :’)))

**Lance added ‘+9 972-888-2022’ to Contacts**

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: kick ass go 2 space**

**Lance:** it is nice to use my phone again ngl

**Lance:** i’ve had it stuffed in a drawer in here for so long so i wouldn’t have to look at it and feel sad

**Hunk:** relatable

**Lance:** OMFG

**Lance:** okay so like i was staring at these weird dates right?

**Lance:** side note: they’re uuuuhh rlly fuckin weird

**Lance:** like,,, the year ??? the MONTH? how many days are in an altean month wtf

**Lance:** anyway i converted it to earth time bc i’m smart like that

**Lance:** and apparently we were last on earth SEVEN MONTHS AGO????

**Pidge:** woah

**Lance:** i KNOW.

**Pidge:** i didn’t realize it’d been that long???

**Hunk:** yeah that’s freaky

**Lance:** omg

**Lance:** i missed my mom’s birthday :((((

**Hunk:** :(((

**Lance:** i’m a Horrible Son

**Pidge:** you’re missing in outer space you’re not a horrible son

**Lance:** i’m not missing! i’m defending the universe!!!

**Pidge:** to HER you’re missing

**Lance:** omg :((((((((

**Hunk:** you want me to come to your room buddy?

**Hunk:** i’ll bring the last of the chocolate i bought at that space shop

**Hunk:** and cuddle you

**Lance:** yes please :(

 

 

**[14/69/20076 — 4:31]**

**Group Message to: kick ass go 2 space**

**Hunk:** alright, i’m thinking we’re gonna have to do something nice here pidge

**Pidge:** i’ve never done anything nice in my life

**Hunk:** we need to share the Gift Of The Groupchat

**Pidge:** no

**Hunk:** wtf come on

**Pidge:** it took me like a solid,,, three hours to make your phone

**Hunk:** and with my HELP it could take you half that

**Hunk:** probably

**Pidge:** no one else even knows memes :(((

**Hunk:** you don’t know that

**Lance:** no no, pidge knows that

**Lance:** imagine it:

**Lance:** shiro would just be all ‘no cussing! we shouldn’t be texting in here at 3am because we’ve got to get up in 4 hours to train! zarkon’s bad!’

**Hunk:** zarkon IS bad

**Pidge:** and i mean we probably shouldn’t be up rn

**Pidge:** we DO have to wake up in 4 hours to train

**Lance:** even without this gc i’d be up rn

**Hunk:** but your beauty sleep???

**Lance:** you can’t help it when Insomnia Strikes

**Pidge:** tru

**Hunk:** anyway

**Hunk:** let’s make phones

**Lance:** NO !!!!

**Lance:** giving everyone phones will be the downfall of everything good and fun in the world

**Lance:** IMAGINE IT

**Lance:**  allura will be all “i’m allura, i’m perfect, i can’t do anything wrong!!!” and i’ll be like “hey allura, i’m lance, whatup” and she’ll be like “ew stfu lance i don’t like you!!!”

**Hunk:** allura likes you lance

**Hunk:** what are you talking about

**Lance:** mmm p sure she secretly hates my guts

**Pidge:** wtf

**Lance:** pretty sure Everyone secretly hates my guts

**Hunk:** you’re dumb

**Lance:** tru

**Hunk:** NO ugh

**Hunk:** but you’re BEING dumb

**Hunk:** no one hates you

**Lance:** that’s just what someone who Secretly Hates me would say 0.0

**Pidge:** everyone secretly loves you actually

**Pidge:** anyway

**Pidge:** yeah i don’t think we should make everyone phones

**Pidge:** like, coran would just be confused

**Pidge:** and who even knows about keith

**Pidge:** that boy’s probably never even had a phone

**Pidge:** there’s no way he would get memes

**Lance:** yeah so we’re agreed then

**Lance:** no one gets phones but us

**Lance:** we’re the Exclusive Phone Gang

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: the Exclusive Phone Gang**

**Pidge:** and he’d be confused and like never have even taken a selfie or anything

**Pidge:** and he probably wouldn’t get texting lingo

**Pidge:** and lance wouldn’t be able to handle having him in the gc

**Lance:** wait what wtf

**Lance:** what are you talking about

**Pidge:** who, me?

**Pidge:** i’m only talking about your obvious and overwhelming crush on him

**Lance:** i don’t have a crush on keith wtf

**Pidge:** mhmmm

**Lance:** I LITERALLY DON’T

**Lance:** I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT

**Pidge:** yeah right

**Lance:** WTFFFFF

**Lance:** PIDGE

**Lance:** I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON KEITH

**Hunk:** hmmm

**Lance:** hunk WHAT THE FUCK

**Lance:** i’m serious wtf

**Lance:** just bc i’m bi doesn’t mean i go around getting crushes on the only available people around me

**Pidge:** u sure??? bc allura, keith

**Lance:** you forgot shiro

**Pidge:** oh right, allura keith and shiro, the three you have crushes on

**Lance:** WAIT UGH

**Lance:** THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

**Lance:** HNnnnngnaksfjd

**Pidge:** anyway yeah, you wouldn’t be able to handle having him in the chat

**Lance:** yes i fucking would

**Lance:** it would make no difference to me

**Lance:** other than the fact that i’d have to explain every little joke i made to keith

**Pidge:** which you would gladly do

**Lance:** stfu 

**Hunk:** so we’re agreed then?

**Hunk:** make phones for everybody? add them in the gc?

**Pidge:** eh maybe not everybody

**Pidge:** we could start small

**Lance:** wtf guys! what about the Exclusive Phone Gang?

**Lance:** and PIDGE. i thought you were on MY SIDE?

**Pidge:** eh

**Pidge:** i’m fickle

**Lance:** yeah no kidding

**Lance:** fuckin traitor

**Pidge:** ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

 

 

**[14/70/20076 — 15:02]**

**Group Message to: the Exclusive Phone Gang**

**Lance:** alright guys i've been doing some thinking

**Lance:** and i’ve come up with a list of reasons of why we shouldn’t add anyone else to our group chat

**Lance:** number one:

**Pidge added: +9 877-420-6669**

**Lance:** are you fucking kidding me

**+9 877-420-6669:** What?

**+9 877-420-6669:** …Did you guys get that?

**+9 877-420-6669:** Pidge is this working?

**Pidge:** yeah it’s working

**+9 877-420-6669:** Oh okay.

**+9 877-420-6669:** It’s Keith.

**Pidge:** i love you keith

**+9 877-420-6669:** What???

**Hunk:** wahoo!!! the phone works!!!

**+9 877-420-6669:** Yeah.

**Lance added +9 877-420-6669 to Contacts**

**Lance:** well now that we’re all here

**Keith:** We’re not all here.

**Keith:** Aren’t there only four of us in here? Which of you guys is which anyway?

**Lance:** hunk here!

**Hunk:** no that’s lance

**Hunk:** don’t believe him

**Lance:** don’t try to trick keith, lance

**Lance:** that’s rude

**Pidge:** omfg

**Keith:** What???

**Hunk:** lance is just riling you up buddy

**Hunk:** I’M hunk

**Lance:** lance stop you’re being annoying

**Lance:** seriously dude i’m hunk

**Keith:** You guys are the worst.

**Hunk:** I’M NOT THE WORST

**Hunk:** LANCE is the worst!!!

**Lance:** playing it very smartly aren’t you lance :/

**Keith:** I’m gonna leave the group chat.

**Pidge:** ooooh no you won’t!!!

**Pidge:** not after all the hard work i put into making your phone!!!!

**Keith:** Okay so YOU’RE Pidge.

**Pidge:** yep! that’s me!

**Hunk:** and i’m hunk

**Lance:** says lance

**Hunk:** I’M GONNA KILL YOU LANCE

**Keith:** …

**Pidge:** hold on i’ll help you keith

**Pidge shared Contacts ‘Stringbean’ and ‘Sir Hugsalot’**

**Lance:** wtf

**Lance:** am i stringbean???????

**Pidge:** lmao

**Pidge:** what do YOU think

**Lance:** you’re the worst omg

**Lance:** i’ve just been putting your guys’s normal names as your contacts!!!!

**Pidge:** that’s your own fault

**Lance:** i hate you

**Lance:** i’m gonna change your name to gremlin

**Pidge:** oh yeah??

**Pidge:** p sure that would ruin your aesthetic

**Lance:** fuck off

**Keith:** It WAS lance tricking me!

**Hunk:** you didn’t seriously think i would be the one tricking you

**Lance:** i would do no such thing

**Keith:** Aren’t we going to add everyone else though?

**Lance:** patience is key, young padawan

**Keith:** What???

**Lance:** SIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

**Lance:** memeless? more like meaningless

**Keith:** What are you saying?

**Lance:** i’m saying that you’ve Tainted the group chat with your lack of modern knowledge

**Lance:** all jokes will flop

**Lance:** all memes… MEANINGLESS

**Pidge:** stfu lance

**Pidge:** you haven’t tainted the gc keith

**Pidge:** you’ve only improved it

**Lance:** SPOILED IT

**Lance:** SPOILED IT

**Lance:** SPOILED IT

**Lance:** (to the tune of spongebob saying “FOILED IT”)

**Hunk:** anyway

**Hunk:** yeah we’re gonna add everyone else soon

**Hunk:** we just have to finish making their phones

**Hunk:** but i’m glad yours is working okay

**Keith:** Yeah.

**Keith:** Thanks for making it for me.

**Keith:** I’ve never had a phone before.

**Pidge:** omg called it

**Lance:** jesus that literally sucks

**Lance:** rip u

**Keith:** Well no one wants to spend that much money on a foster kid.

**Hunk:** omg :(

**Hunk:** i’m sad now :((

**Keith:** Why?

**Hunk:** someone should’ve bought you a phone!!!

**Keith:** It’s not like I cared.

**Keith:** I wouldn’t have had anyone to text or anything.

**Lance:** alright let’s change the topic from keith’s tragic past

**Lance:** how long until our group chat is ruined with the presence of more people?

**Pidge:** omg stop acting like you’re not having a great time

**Pidge:** and not long now

**Pidge:** i’ll probably have them ready by tomorrow

**Pidge:** like i could have them ready by tonight but instead of working on them i’m watching this old altean horror movie??? the effects suck but i’m loving it

**Lance:** omg

**Lance:** and you didn’t invite me?????

**Pidge:** i work alone

**Lance:** i’m your biggest fan!!!!

**Pidge:** fly home, buddy

**Keith:** What the fuck is going on?

**Hunk:** it’s a reference

**Lance:** srsly i’m coming to watch with you

**Pidge:** it’s like halfway over you won’t get what’s going on

**Lance:** as if you get what’s going on!!! there aren’t even subtitles!!!!!!

**Lance:** i’m in it for the Movie Atmosphere

**Lance:** plus???? watching just half a movie ??? and the most exciting half of it ???

**Lance:** Perfect for that adhd life

**Hunk:** i’d join you but….

**Hunk:** horror movies

**Hunk:** *shivers*

**Pidge:** classic

**Pidge:** you comin keith?

**Keith:** Oh am I invited?

**Pidge:** 1) yes, i just invited you

**Pidge:** 2) you don’t even need to be invited wtf

**Pidge:** look at lance for example

**Pidge:** he just invited himself

**Keith:** Okay.

**Pidge:** so are you coming????

**Keith:** Yeah. I’ll be right there.

**Lance:** MOVIE NIGHT! MOVIE NIGHT! MOVIE NIGHT! MOVIE NIGHT!

**Pidge:** omfg

**Lance:** SNACKS??? DO YOU HAVE SNAKSC???

**Pidge:** calm tf down

**Pidge:** and no snacks

**Pidge:** i’m too lazy for that shit

**Lance:** BRBRBRBB

**Lance:** alright so i may have just bowled coran over

**Pidge:** WHAT

**Lance:** LISTEN

**Lance:** i couldn’t help it!!!!

**Lance:** i was wearing socks!! the floors are slippery!!!

**Hunk:** is coran okay???

**Lance:** i mean yeah he’s probably fine

**Keith:** Probably?

**Lance:** well i just jumped over him after i knocked him down

**Lance:** snacks in hand

**Pidge:** jesus lance

**Lance:** i said sorry! as i was running away!!!

**Lance:** anyway i’ll be right ther 

**Pidge:** yeah hurry

**Pidge:** keith got here like three minutes ago

 

 

**[14/70/20076 — 10:11]**

**Group Message to: the Exclusive Phone Gang**

**Lance:** hey voltron fucks

**Keith:** Lance, what?

**Pidge:** LOL

**Pidge:** omg we need a fun team name

**Keith:** Voltron.

**Lance:** oMG WE DOOOOOOO

**Keith:** Our team name is Voltron.

**Pidge:** :///

**Pidge:** boooooring

**Keith:** We practically came with the name Voltron.

**Lance:** we could at least have individual group names

**Pidge:** YEAH

**Keith:** like what??

**Lance:** i mean me you and hunk could be the primary colors

**Lance:** that’s obvious

**Keith:** you want to make team names for every possible combination of us?

**Lance:** idk maybe

**Pidge:** oooh i see what you’re saying keith

**Lance:** he didn’t even say anything!!!

**Pidge:** well there’s like a million combinations of us, is what he’s saying

**Pidge:** especially if you’re including combinations of different amounts of people, which could be anywhere from 2 to 7, although i guess all 7 would be called voltron

**Pidge:** or maybe just the 5 paladins are voltron

**Lance:** wut 

**Pidge:** think about it

**Pidge:** even with just you

**Pidge:** you and hunk, you and me, you and keith, you and me and keith, you and me and hunk, etc

**Pidge:** there’s a formula to figure out the actual number of combinations, but it’s be too much work to come up with team names for every combination there is. it’d be easier to just say our names at that point

**Lance:** dream team, meme team, steam team, white christmas, the og three, keep em coming

**Pidge:** omg

**Keith:** Are those supposed to be our team names?

**Lance:** yeah

**Keith:** they don’t even make sense

**Lance:** UM they make PERFECT SENSE thank u very much

**Lance:** me and hunk are just the dream team, it makes sense

**Lance:** me and pidge are obviously the meme team

**Pidge:** tru

**Lance:** fire and ice makes steam, so again, obvious

**Pidge:** totally the only reason u’d be the steam team

**Lance:** you and pidge are christmas colors and i’m the snow

**Lance:** and me hunk and pidge were the first friends

**Keith:** I mean.

**Keith:** Okay.

**Keith:** How’d you even come up with those names so fast?

**Lance:** i keep my abundance of team names locked and loaded at all time  

**Lance:** i am the Height of preparedness

**Pidge:** seems fake but ok

**Lance:** appreciate me!!!!

**Lance:** speaking of appreciating me

**Lance:** where the hell is hunk???

**Lance:** and why on EARTH is he not appreciating me

**Keith:** More like why in space.

**Lance:** nuuuu

**Lance:** let me keep my earth expressions

**Hunk:** sorry i was in the shower

**Lance:** how dare you

**Hunk:** how dare i shower?

**Lance:** how dare you not be prepared to answer to my every whim at any time

**Hunk:** oh right, right

**Hunk:** so sorry about that

**Lance:** i’ll forgive you

**Lance:** for a PRICE

**Pidge:** alright u guys are lame

**Pidge:** i’m bored

**Pidge:** let’s do something

**Lance:** no can do

**Lance:** i JUST put on a face mask

**Lance:** i can’t tell if all these work outs shiro’s putting us through is good or bad for my skin

**Lance:** but i’m taking precautions just in case

**Pidge:** i can’t believe you hate me

**Lance:** :/

**Pidge:** that’s IT

**Pidge:** i’m making shiro a phone RIGHT NOW

**Lance:** PIDGE NO

**Lance:** MY MEMES

**Lance:** MY JOKES

**Lance:** MY SWEARS!!!!

**Lance:** HE’LL YELL AT ME FOR SWEARING PIDGE!!!!!

**Keith:** Why don’t you want Shiro in the chat?

**Keith:** That’s mean.

**Keith:** >:(

**Lance:** omfg

**Hunk:** omg

**Pidge:** omg

**Keith:** What?

**Lance:** YOU JUST USED AN EMOTICON

**Lance:** you never do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lance:** who is this Imposter

**Keith:** It’s Keith.

**Lance:** exactly what an imposter would say! o.0

**Pidge:** was that real???

**Pidge:** i feel like he must’ve fallen on his phone and accidentally sent that angry face

**Keith:** No I made it myself.

**Lance:** little keefy’s growing up :’)

**Hunk:** :’D

**Pidge:** :OOOOOOOO

**Keith:** :]

**Hunk:** omg

**Lance:** OMGGGGG  

**Pidge:** why the hell is this the cutest thing we’ve ever seen??

**Keith:** ;D

 

 

**[14/72/20076 — 16:54]**

**Group Message to: the Exclusive Phone Gang**

**Pidge changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: Respectable and Responsible Young Adults**

**Pidge:** lance

**Pidge:** don’t be alarmed

**Pidge:** but it’s time

**Lance:** huh

**Lance:** you can’t just say something ominous like that

**Lance:** time for what??? am i late for something???

**Pidge:** no lance

**Pidge:** it’s Time

**Pidge:** time to Add The Dad

**Lance:** OH FUCK

**Lance:** NO

**Lance:** MY FREEDOM PIDGE

**Lance:** MY FREDEOM

**Keith:** Fredeom.

**Lance:** shut up KEITH

**Hunk:** Fredeom

**Hunk:** OW

**Hunk:** lance just punched me!!

**Lance:** don’t make fun of me when i’m in your room then :)))

**Pidge:** get out all your swears now bud

**Lance:** AAAAAHHHH

**Lance:** FUCK

**Lance:** HELL

**Pidge added: +9 821-900-8787**

**Lance:** SHIT

**Lance:** oh no

**+9 821-900-8787:** What’s with all the cursing Lance?

**Lance:** what the actual fuck

**Lance:** how’d you know it was me

**+9 821-900-8787:** Hunk doesn’t cuss, Pidge doesn’t cuss in front of me, and Keith doesn’t seem the type to text in all caps.

**Lance added +9 821-900-8787 to Contacts**

**Lance:** hmm

**Lance:** those were some great deduction skills

**Shiro:** Thanks Lance.

**Pidge:** here shiro

**Pidge shared Contacts ‘Stringbean’, ’Sir Hugsalot’, and ‘McMullet’**

**Keith:** Really? McMullet?

**Keith:** How Lance of you.

**Pidge:** actually lance really did name u that in my phone

**Pidge:** he wrestled me to do it

**Lance:** lmao guilty

**Keith:** It’s not even a mullet.

**Lance:** is too

**Keith:** You should change it.

**Pidge:** oooo u want me to change it???

**Hunk:** don’t do it keith, you don't know her power

**Pidge:** here are your options:

**Pidge:** Stinky Boi

**Pidge:** The Hash Slinging Slasher

**Pidge:** #4

**Keith:** I can’t even…

**Keith:** …

**Keith:** Really?

**Keith:** My height ranking?

**Pidge:** us short people have to stick together

**Pidge:** maybe sit on each other’s shoulders

**Pidge:** reach the high shelves for once

**Keith:** I’m not even that short.

**Keith:** Lance is barely even taller than me.

**Lance:** lie

**Keith:** I hate you.

**Lance:** lie

**Pidge:** :)

**Keith:** Shut up Pidge.

**Lance:** what

**Keith:** What?

**Shiro:** What’s going on

**Pidge:** hahahahhahahahah

**Pidge:** welcome to the gc shiro :)

 

 

**[14/73/20076 — 2:14]**

**Group Message to: Respectable and Responsible Young Adults**

**Lance:** everyone pay attention to me

**Lance:** immediately

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: time to love lance!!!!**

**Keith:** No.

**Lance:** stfu mullet

**Lance:** i know where u live

**Lance:** PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEE

**Keith:** You just told me to shut up.

**Lance:** UGH

**Lance:** i have exciting news to share!!!

**Lance:** if everybody would just pay me some attention immediately i could share it

**Hunk:** sorry buddy i’ve been cooking

**Hunk:** what’s up

**Lance:** first of all i lov u

**Lance:** thanks for showing up

**Lance:** and second i can’t say

**Keith:** Have I ever told you I hate you?

**Lance:** hmmm i don’t recall

**Hunk:** why can’t you tell me :(((

**Lance:** I can’t tell you YET

**Lance:** this is Big News

**Lance:** it’s worthy of everyone’s attention

**Keith:** Somehow I doubt that.

**Lance:** remind me to punch keith in the throat the next time i see him

**Lance:** xoxoxo

**Lance:** but seriously where is everyone

**Lance:** come heeeeere pidgey pidgey pidgey!!!!

**Shiro:** Is it an emergency?

**Lance:** if it was an emergency i wouldn’t be texting you guys

**Lance:** duh

**Shiro:** Just making sure.

**Lance:** if pidge isn’t here in seven seconds i’m going to commit

**Keith:** Commit what?

**Lance:** who knows

**Lance:** murder

**Lance:** suicide

**Lance:** tax fraud

**Shiro:** Very funny.

**Lance:** :(((( rude

**Shiro:** What???

**Shiro:** I said that was funny.

**Hunk:** ehh didn’t come across over text very well

**Lance:** yeah i thought u were being sarcastic

**Shiro:** Oh.

**Shiro:** I wasn’t.

**Lance:** try LOL next time

**Lance:** or LMAOOOO

**Lance:** or a good BAHAHAHHA is always good

**Shiro:** BAHAHAHAHA

**Lance:** jesus christ never mind

**Lance:** that’s terrifying

**Keith:** LOL

**Lance:** alright everyone cut it out!!!

**Lance:** act normally

**Lance:** keith

**Lance:** go brood somewhere

**Lance:** shiro

**Lance:** command us to do something

**Lance:** and hunk

**Hunk:** yeah?

**Lance:** keep doin what u doin

**Lance:** u perf boo

**Hunk:** ily

**Keith:** >:(

**Lance:** perfect! 

**Shiro:** Tell us what your big news is.

**Lance:** that’s the spirit !!!

**Shiro:** No, really. What is it?

**Lance:** and leave pidge in the dark? i could never

**Lance:** we must Wait

**Pidge:** wait no longer!

**Pidge:** i’m here and i’m queer

**Lance:** LOL

**Lance:** rt

**Keith:** What?

**Lance:** pidge is queer

**Lance:** and i mentally retweeted that statement

**Lance:** bc i’m queer bb

**Lance:** bi specifically

**Keith:** Oh.

**Pidge:** lmao didn’t you know that keith??? :)

**Keith:** No.

**Keith:** Shut up.

**Shiro:** Now what’s your big news?

**Lance:** OH YEAH MY NEWS!!!!

**Lance:** WHOOP

**Lance:** okay so

**Lance:** as you all know my phone was out of commission until pidge decided to play god and create space wifi

**Pidge:** you’re welcome

**Lance:** yes, tyvm

**Lance:** but anyway

**Lance:** i hadn’t used my phone in forever until recently

**Lance:** i mean like it stayed charged bc ?? i think the castle’s magic does weird shit

**Lance:** in which case maybe that’s an experiment for pidge and hunk like

**Lance:** IS their electricity in the air?

**Keith:** There*

**Lance:** stfu i’m typing fast and not thinking

**Lance:** also ihy

**Lance:** but ANYWAY

**Lance:** i’d like,, shoved my phone away under my bed so i wouldn’t have to see it/think of home/be sad/etc etc

**Lance:** and i’d forgotten all the things i had on it

**Lance:** and most importantly, i’d forgotten about PICTURES

**Keith:** Don’t tell me all this build up is for a picture.

**Lance:** not just any picture, ol keithy boy

**Lance:** THIS is a selfie

**Keith:** Lance.

**Pidge:** lance.

**Hunk:** omg lance

**Lance:** IT’S IMPORTANT

**Lance:** i need attention and also validation

**Lance:** did you know i had like ??? almost 2000 instagram followers????

**Lance:** none of them even know what happened to this pretty face

**Lance:** and also no one’s even calling it pretty anymore so

**Lance:** anyway

**Lance:** [PICTURE SENT]

**Hunk:** awww you know what

**Hunk:** i miss instagram

**Hunk:** i miss all your selfies

**Hunk:** v cute lance :’)

**Lance:** THANK U HUNK

**Lance:** ILYYYYY

**Pidge:** a peace sign? really?

**Lance:** :(((

**Lance:** my brand

**Pidge:** siiigh

**Pidge:** although i will admit, you ARE the king of selfies

**Pidge:** i don’t think i’ve ever seen you take a bad one

**Pidge:** like, even when you’re trying to be ugly they come out good

**Shiro:** Very nice, Lance.

**Shiro:** Although I can’t believe your big news was just a selfie.

**Pidge:** really? you can’t? bc this is lance

**Hunk:** yeah dude

**Hunk:** seems pretty lance-like

**Shiro:** All right that’s true.

**Lance:** *angel emoji*

**Pidge:** did u just type “angel emoji”

**Lance:** until you figure out how to bring emoji’s back, yes

**Lance:** bc my emojis are GONE

**Lance:** space fucking killed them

**Lance:** rip forever

**Pidge:** hey wait

**Pidge:** where’d keith go

**Lance:** HEY YEAH

**Lance:** COME BACK HERE

**Lance:** GIVE ME VALIDATION YOU ASSHOLE

**Pidge:** yeah keith! validate lance! :))))

**Keith:** I’m not going to stroke your ego, Lance.

**Lance:** um rude

**Pidge:** i can think of another thing for you to stroke

**Shiro:** PIDGE.

**Keith:** Pidge what the fuck!

**Lance:** EW PIDGE!!!

**Lance:** YOU’RE A CHILD

**Lance:** YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT

**Pidge:** i’m literally two years younger than you

**Lance:** in other words, a lifetime

**Lance:** i hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth

**Pidge:** i don’t

**Pidge:** not anymore lmao :)))

**Hunk:** oh no

**Hunk:** too real :(

**Lance:** yeah

**Pidge:** sorry

**Pidge:** let’s get back to keith then

**Keith:** Why?

**Pidge:** because you never complimented lance

**Pidge:** and that’s rude

**Lance:** yeah that’s rude 

**Keith:** I’m not complimenting you, Lance.

**Keith:** Plus, would it kill you to wear a shirt?

**Keith:** Do you really just hang out in your room shirtless all day?

**Lance:** ummmm, yes????

**Lance:** it’s comfy

**Lance:** also idk if you’ve noticed but we’ve got a limited number of shirts out here

**Lance:** why dirty em when i could Not

**Keith:** For decency’s sake?

**Lance:** alright prude

**Pidge:** yeah, prude

**Pidge:** you’re the only one that even cares that lance is shirtless

**Keith:** Whatever.

**Lance:** uh oh

**Lance:** the pouty boy is mad

**Hunk:** LOL

**Keith:** Wtf.

**Keith:** I’m not pouty.

**Shiro:** Keith, you’re a little pouty.

**Keith:** What the hell, Shiro?!

**Keith:** Be on MY side.

**Shiro:** ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

**Lance:** BAHAHAHHAHA WHAAAAAT

**Lance:** WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK

**Lance:** AGAHDFASDFHAHAHAHHAHA

**Pidge:** LOL

**Hunk:** OMG

**Keith:** I hate you all.

**Lance:** SHIROOOOOOOOO

**Lance:** oh my god this is amazing

**Shiro:** ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

**Lance:** god has blessed us on this day

**Lance:** thank u @ god

**Pidge:** *praying emoji*

**Hunk:** *praising emoji*

**Lance:** *tongue emoji*

**Pidge:** gross lance

**Hunk:** yeah ew

**Lance:** *sad dab emoji*

 

 

**[14/77/20076 — 10:11]**

**Group Message to: time to love lance!!!!**

**Pidge:** lance

**Lance:** whatup

**Pidge:** i know you’re resistant to change and that’s why i’m warning you beforehand

**Pidge:** out of the kindness of my heart

**Lance:** sounds fake but ok

**Pidge:** i’m giving allura a phone

**Lance:** ASKFJSH

**Pidge:** i’m gonna take that as a good thing

**Lance:** it most certainly is NOT !!!!!

**Hunk:** why you gotta make a big deal out of this every time lance

**Hunk:** just let it happen

**Lance:** because it IS a big deal

**Lance:** i have had specific reasons for not wanting to give everyone phones since the Beginning

**Keith:** Wait. Did you not want to give me a phone too?

**Lance:** of course!

**Pidge:** liar

**Lance:** I’M NOT LYING

**Lance:** the problem with keith was, and i indirectly quote “he won’t get my jokes and i’ll have to explain them all to him”

**Keith:** Oh.

**Lance:** yeah

**Pidge:** smh lance

**Lance:** what???

**Pidge:** read the situation

**Lance:** shit

**Lance:** look, keith

**Lance:** it’s really not that bad

**Lance:** i was just being dramatic

**Lance:** i actually don’t mind explaining jokes to you

**Lance:** PLS COME BACK

**Lance:** I DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGSSSS

**Lance:** ILLLLYYYYYYY

**Keith:** What?

**Lance:** what

**Keith:** What does that mean?

**Lance:** ily????

**Keith:** Yeah.

**Lance:** oh

**Hunk:** it means “i love you” ^^

**Keith:** Oh.

**Keith:** Um.

**Keith:** Ily too, I guess.

**Pidge:** lolololol

**Lance:** it’s ily2

**Lance:** but thanks budgy 

**Lance:** hugs all around, no feelings hurt

**Shiro:** Why are you guys always texting in here?

**Shiro:** We have training in ten minutes.

**Lance:** 10 doboshes, actually, which is more like 12 minutes sooo

**Shiro:** And wait, you didn’t want anyone else in the group chat?

**Lance:** for good reason

**Lance:** yours being that you’re our dad

**Shiro:** I’m like three years older than you.

**Lance:** yours being that you’ll call me out for anything inappropriate**

**Shiro:** That’s never stopped you before.

**Lance:** yours being that even now i’m lowkey Intimidated™ by you****

**Shiro:** Wait, really?

**Lance:** MOVING ON.

**Lance:** there’s an OBVIOUS reason why we shouldn’t add allura

**Lance:** actually, reasons

**Lance:** plural

**Lance:** and you wanna know what those reasons are????

**Pidge:** i have a feeling you’re about to tell us no matter what we say, so

**Lance:** ALRIGHT, I’LL TELL YOU.

**Lance:** numero uno!

**Lance:** she’s like, literally our boss

**Lance:** everything we say in here Can And Will be used against us in the court of law

**Pidge:** wtf

**Hunk:** i thought shiro was the boss

**Lance:** he’s more like the manager

**Lance:** he’s the head of voltron, sure, but allura is the fucking president of the company

**Keith:** Couldn’t you just say she’s the princess of Altea?

**Lance:** POINT IS, she’s In Charge

**Lance:** if any one of us goof off in here or decide to complain about some mission or something, she’ll see it all

**Shiro:** I’m still stuck on the fact that you didn’t want me in the group chat.

**Lance:** now ISN’T the time for your hurt feelings you muscular heathen

**Hunk:** did lance just call shiro a muscular heathen

**Pidge:** why yes indeed i think he did

**Keith:** His muscles aren’t even that big.

**Pidge:** LOLLL

**Lance:** EVERYONE SHUT UP!

**Lance:** the other blatant, obvious reason why we Cannot add Allura into the chat….

**Lance:** ….

**Lance:** …………….

**Lance:** …………………………………….

**Keith:** Please tell me you’re not waiting for us to respond so that you can be dramatic.

**Lance:** IS BECAUSE

**Lance:** I’ll never be able to send another selfie again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Pidge:** aaaaaand of course that’s the reason

**Keith:** I don’t see why not.

**Keith:** None of us minded your selfie, I don’t see why she would.

**Pidge:** omg

**Lance:** that’s not the point

**Lance:** the POINT is that allura is like an actual angel and i can’t compete with that shit

**Lance:** i can’t send my trash selfies when allura is present

**Hunk:** sure you can!

**Hunk:** also they’re not trash

**Hunk:** and also i know she won’t judge you

**Hunk:** she’ll probably be excited about selfies herself

**Pidge:** yeah she totally won’t care

**Pidge:** and trash selfies are part of the fun

**Pidge:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** LOLLLL

**Hunk:** oh god that’s a new angle

**Shiro:** I never thought I’d be in a position of looking up at Pidge.

**Shiro:** Literally straight up your nostrils.

**Pidge:** thank u

**Shiro:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** OMMGGGG ADSFAJKLK

**Pidge:** WHAT is that smile omg ily

**Hunk:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** angel

**Lance:** perfect

**Pidge:** literally the sun wtf

**Hunk:** shut up i was being ugly

**Lance:** LIT

**Lance:** LIE****

**Pidge:** LIT

**Hunk:** LIT

**Keith:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** adflakjsd

**Pidge:** BAHHA U BROKE LANCE

**Shiro:** Aw that’s a cute selfie Keith!

**Keith:** Thanks. 

**Keith:** It’s the first one I’ve ever taken.

**Hunk:** looks great dude!!!

**Lance:** FIRST ONE?? ADFIGRHVBW

**Keith:** What’s wrong with you?

**Pidge:** i’m fucking dying lmaoooooooo

**Lance:** i need to sit down

**Pidge added: +9 571-880-7453**

**Lance:** i might just die

**+9 571-880-7453:** oh no!!! are you joking?

**Pidge shared Contacts ‘Stringbean’, ‘Sir Hugsalot’, ‘McMullet’, and ‘Captain Obvious’**

**Lance:** AAAH

**Lance:** ALLURA

**+9 571-880-7453:** yes!!!

**+9 571-880-7453:** are you okay?

**Lance:** yeah i’m fine!

**Lance:** keith’s just killing me out here

**Lance:** his selfie game’s too strong

**Keith:** Wait what?

**Hunk:** omg

**+9 571-880-7453:** selfie game?

**Pidge:** it’s taking a picture of yourself

**Pidge:** p fun

**Pidge:** lance does it a lot, show her lance

**Lance:** ahahaha no the princess doesn’t want to see that

**Lance added ‘+9 571-880-7453’ to Contacts**

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: the gang's all here**

**Allura:** yes i do!

**Allura:** it sounds fascinating, is this human culture?

**Allura:** you must teach me how to do it!

**Lance:** UGH

**Lance:** FINE

**Lance:** just remind me to step on pidge’s face later

**Allura:** i…

**Allura:** i don’t think i will, if that’s all right

**Pidge:** fine with me! :)

**Lance:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** sorry lmao idk why i’m making that face

**Lance:** but like yeah adfadf

**Lance:** that’s a selfie

**Allura:** what does ‘adfadf’ mean? is it an acronym?

**Allura:** and that looks good! it must be hard to get it right so quickly!

**Lance:** ADJLFSDF

**Allura:** is that another acronym???

**Hunk:** they’re not acronyms

**Hunk:** they’re just key smashes

**Hunk:** like when you’re feeling too many emotions to just properly express yourself

**Hunk:** so you smash all over the keyboard

**Lance:** yep yep yep

**Lance:** they’re also gay culture ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

**Lance:** sorry i don’t make the rules

**Shiro:** key smashing is gay culture?

**Lance:** ya we claimed it

**Keith:** sdfsdk

**Pidge:** omg

**Lance:** you take that back!!! that’s for gays only!!!

**Keith:** I know.

**Lance:** wait what

**Lance:** keith you’re gay???

**Keith:** I thought it was obvious.

**Shiro:** Congratulations Keith! :)

**Hunk:** yeah it was p obvious

**Hunk:** unless you’re unobservant

**Lance:** hey! i’m plenty observant! 

**Allura:** congratulations keith! have fun smashing keys from here on out!

**Keith:** Thank you princess.

**Keith:** cxvzb

**Keith:** Ugh.

**Keith:** I feel like mine look weird compared to everyone else’s?

**Lance:** nah dude they’re fine

**Lance:** they’re supposed to be random

**Pidge:** adsljfasldf

**Lance:** sfjsdfasf

**Keith:** eifqownzxcv

**Lance:** THIS IS THE BESTEST GAYEST PARTY WAHOOOOO

**Lance:** OMG THIS CALLS FOR A CHANGE IN TEAM NAME

**Allura:** you no longer want to be voltron???

**Lance:** NOT THAT TEAM NAME

**Lance:** THE WHITE CHRISTMAS TEAM NAME

**Lance:** ME PIDGE AND KEITH ARE, FROM NOW ON, TEAM GAY

**Keith:** Oh my god.

**Pidge:** this is great omf

**Allura:** you have individual team names? since when?

**Lance:** oh i was making them a while ago

**Shiro:** Do I have any?

**Lance:** you certainly can have some

**Lance:** name urself a team

**Shiro:** Me and Keith.

**Lance:** broganes, done

**Lance:** bc kogane and shirogane

**Lance:** keep em coming

**Pidge:** not this again oml

**Shiro:** Me and you, me you and Keith, me Hunk and Pidge.

**Shiro:** Wow there are a lot of possibilities for individual team names.

**Pidge:** yeah i was talking about this before

**Pidge:** there’s a formula for it

**Pidge: i** ncluding coran in the option of team making, there’s about 5040 possibilities for pairing us up, as long as we can be in pairs of any number greater than 2

**Allura:** well then it doesn’t really make sense to create team names for each possibility then

**Allura:** at that point it’s just easier to say each other’s names

**Pidge:** exactly what i said

**Lance:** you’re Too Late

**Lance:** i already created more team names

**Lance:** team bruise, team intimidation, and team smartypants

**Hunk:** alright just go ahead and explain it

**Hunk:** we know you want to

**Lance:** thought you’d never ask!

**Lance:** shiro and my’s team comes from the saying “black and blue like a bruise”

**Lance:** me keith n shiro are team intimidation bc i’m intimidated by both of them

**Lance:** and team smartypants is bc u and pidge are geniuses and shiro wears the pants in the relationship, i don’t make the rules

**Keith:** There is so much to process…

**Lance:** don’t bother! topic moving along now!

**Lance:** you ever figure out how to do that selfie princess?

**Allura:** i think so

**Allura:** how does this look?

**Allura:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** WOW

**Lance:** 10/10 amazing

**Lance:** will u excuse me for a moment

**Lance left the conversation**

**Keith:** Woah what the fuck?

**Keith:** I didn’t know you could actually leave the conversation.

**Allura:** did i somehow offend him???

**Pidge:** no he’d just being a dramatic idiot

**Pidge added Lance to the conversation**

**Pidge:** welcome back to hell

**Lance:** perfect thank u

**Lance:** i’m going to bed

**Shiro:** We should all go to bed.

**Shiro:** It’s getting late.

**Lance:** PIDGE?? HUNK?

**Lance:** I SO TOLD YOU GUUUUYYYYYSSSSSS

**Lance:** THAT HE WOULD MAKE US GO TO BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Pidge:** but you were already planning to go to bed

**Lance:** DOESN’T MATTER

**Lance:** STILL COUNTS

**Lance:** GOOD NIGHT

 

 

**[15/1/20076 — 23:53]**

**Group Message to: the gang’s all here**

**Lance:** let’s talk about earth things we miss

**Lance:** WOOOAH HEY

**Lance:** IT’S A NEW MONTH!!!!! NEW MONTH GUYS!!!!

**Pidge:** that sounds like a horrible idea

**Hunk:** yeah buddy you’re just gonna make yourself sad

**Lance:** so no one’s gonna pay attention to the new month, huh??

**Lance:** and fine, i’ll start w/o u guys

**Lance:** rain

**Lance:** ….

**Lance:** ….

**Lance:** ocean

**Lance:** not just swimming in it but hearing it too

**Lance:** and walking on the beach

**Keith:** The sun.

**Keith:** And the desert.

**Lance:** campfires

**Keith:** Cold nights.

**Lance:** family

**Keith:** Privacy.

**Lance:** home

**Keith:** Different jackets.

**Lance:** oh my goooodddd yes

**Lance:** all my clothes

**Lance:** my fam’s laundry detergent

**Keith:** Anything that’s not food goo.

**Lance:** YES

**Lance:** bigger beds

**Keith:** Familiar routines.

**Lance:** i think i’m getting tired now

**Keith:** Nice.

**Keith:** Goodnight Lance.

**Lance:** night buddy

 

 

**[15/2/20076 — 1:04]**

**Group Message to: the gang’s all here**  

**Hunk:** well that was sad :(

 

 

**[15/3/20076 — 4:14]**

**Group Message to: the gang’s all here**

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: Exhaustion City**

**Lance:** it should b illegal to attack voltron in the middle of the night

**Hunk:** rt

**Pidge:** big mood

**Keith:** I’m never waking up again.

**Lance:** me neither bud

**Shiro:** We should all go back to bed and rest up. You never know when the Galra could find us again.

**Allura:** shiro’s right. please get some sleep everyone!!!

**Lance:** zZzzZzZ

 

 

**[15/4/20076 — 13:45]**

**Group Message to: Exhaustion City**

**Keith:** Is everyone doing something right now?

**Lance:** woah keith

**Lance:** you never initiate conversations in the gc!!!

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: bb keith is growing up :’)**

**Keith:** Well I just did.

**Keith:** And never mind.

**Lance:** no wait come back

**Lance:** i’m just joking dude

**Lance:** what’s up???

**Keith:** I was just wondering if everyone was busy.

**Keith:** I’m bored and I can’t just go and train.

**Lance:** ah yes, that wouldn’t be v good for the billion injuries you obtained last night

**Lance:** seriously u gotta draw back when you’re bleeding all over the place

**Lance:** but i’m not doing anything rn

**Lance:** what’re u tryna do

**Keith:** I don’t know.

**Keith:** Something.

**Keith:** I just think I’m gonna go out of my mind if I have to keep sitting here and doing nothing.

**Keith:** I’ve already read like two whole books.

**Lance:** ew

**Lance:** absolutely disgusting

**Lance:** hard can’t relate

**Lance:** but i’ll think of something to do don’t u worry

**Lance:** i am the king of killing boredom

**Lance:** you’re in ur room right?

**Keith:** Yeah.

**Lance:** alright b right there!!!!

**Lance:** prepare to have lots o fun!1!!!1

**Keith:** Why do I feel like I’m going to end up regretting this?

**Lance:** stfu!!!

**Lance:** so is everyone else busy then? is it just gonna be me n mullet

**Pidge:** yeah sorry

**Hunk:** i’m rlly busy

**Allura:** i’m helping coran with something

**Shiro:** Yeah I’m busy too.

**Shiro:** You two have fun though!

**Lance:** damn alright losers

**Lance:** and we totally will

**Lance:** y’all r gonna feel jealous

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**  

**Group Message to: party city**

 

 

**[15/5/20076 — 5:43]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** heeyyy remember when i said i’d never text if it was an actual emergency??

**Lance:** well

**Lance:** i lied

**Lance:** also if any of u haven’t seen me on the castleship recently it’s bc i’ve been uhhh,,, Kidnapped

**Lance:** paladinnapped

**Lance:** i shouldn’t have gone out but we’ve been on this planet all night and there was that beach and i couldln’t help it

**Lance:** they took my helmet and bayard and they were gonna take my phone but they were like ?? “wtf is this primitive object?”

**Lance:** “whatever it doesn’t matter he can keep his primitive object”

**Lance:** like they literally kept saying primitive

**Lance:** i really hope these texts are sending

**Lance:** ik you guys are asleep but please wake up

**Lance:** beneath my jokey, humorous exterior i am actually uuuuuuh Scared

**Lance:** one of them said something about breaking my legs for fun so!!!

**Lance:** hahahah!!!! :))))))

**Lance:** pls fucking wake up sskdkfj 

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/5/20076 — 8:41]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Pidge:** has anyone seen lance???

**Pidge:** he didn’t sleep in any of your rooms did he?

**Hunk:** no, but did you check his room?

**Pidge:** yeah i checked his first

**Pidge:** he usually always eats breakfast at the same time as me

**Pidge:** …. where’s keith

**Keith:** I’m here.

**Keith:** And whatever you’re thinking, stop it.

**Keith:** You’re wrong.

**Pidge:** so lance ISN’T sleeping in your bed tonight?

**Allura:** what???? why would he be? why would he sleep in anyone else’s bed??

**Pidge:** oh, different reasons

**Keith:** Literally shut up.

**Keith:** He’s not in here.

**Keith:** Is his lion still here?

**Pidge:** yeah i checked there right after i checked his room

**Pidge:** i can’t find him anywhere

**Allura:** i’ll go call for him over the comm system

**Hunk:** wait yeah this is really weird

**Hunk:** lance like, always has his phone on him nowadays

**Hunk:** he’s always in the gc too

**Shiro:** Lance, if this is a joke…

**Pidge:** i don’t think it’s a joke

**Pidge:** if he seriously doesn’t show up after allura’s announcement…

 

 

**[15/6/20076 — 21:16]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** i don’t know how long i’ve been here

**Lance:** it’s really dark in here

**Lance:** my messages aren’t sending

**Lance:** my legs hurt

**Lance:** less now, though

**Lance:** i think they’re starting to go numb actually so that’s nice

**Lance:** i miss you guys

**Lance:** please find me

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

 

**[15/7/20076 — 5:04]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** i think there’s something in the walls

**Lance:** or maybe i’m hearing things  

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/8/20076 — 13:54]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** okay but it’s really fuckin nuts how our phones don’t die out here

**Lance:** even this galra ship is magic apparently

**Lance:** an ever-charging phon  

**Lance:** that can’t be good for the battery

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/9/20076 — 17:11]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** the probability of creating wifi in space seems really slim doesn’t it

**Lance:** like…. i’m not sure it’s even possible

**Lance:** oh god i didn’t imagine all of this right????

**Lance:** pidge really did create wifi??? really did make this group chat????  

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/10/20076 — 1:01]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** i love you guys

**Lance:** like really really

**Lance:** you guys are my family

**Lance:** i really really love you all 

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/11/20076 — 7:32]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Lance:** i think i hear something out there but i’m too scared to hope

**Lance:** but i really want it to be you guys

**Lance:** please be you guys

**Lance:** please please please be you guys

**Lance:** pls 

**Message(s) Failed To Send — Try again?**

 

 

**[15/11/20076 — 23:40]**

**Group Message to: party city**

**Pidge:** i think that was the worst week of my entire life

**Shiro:** It’s okay now.

**Shiro:** We got him back.

**Shiro:** He’s going to be okay.

**Hunk:** he looked so pale…

**Shiro:** He’s strong. You guys know he is.

**Shiro:** He’ll make it through this.

**Allura:** shiro’s right.

**Allura:** we must not let our hopes get down. we’ll all need to be here and in high spirits when lance awakes

**Pidge:** is keith still sitting in front of his pod?

**Allura:** i’d rather not say, seeing as he’s in this group chat

**Pidge:** trust me, he won’t spare a glance for his phone now that lance is back

**Allura:** then yes

**Allura:** he’s still sitting in front of his pod

**Hunk:** poor keith :((

**Shiro:** Yes…

**Shiro:** I’m not sure if he’s slept all week.

**Pidge:** he for sure hasn’t

**Pidge:** i’ve caught him pacing the halls

**Shiro:** Maybe I should check on him.

**Pidge:** oh yeah i’m sure he’ll like that

**Pidge:** he’ll just love being caught sitting in front of lance’s pod

**Pidge:** you should probably make a lot of noise so he knows you’re there too

**Shiro:** Oh my god, guys.

**Hunk:** what????

**Hunk:** is lance okay?

**Hunk:** is he out of the pod?

**Shiro:** Lance is fine.

**Shiro:** He’s still in the pod.

**Shiro:** It’s Keith.

**Allura:** what?!? what happened to him???

**Shiro:** Nothing, nothing!

**Shiro:** It’s just.

**Shiro:** He’s sleeping in front of the pod.

**Pidge:** no way

**Shiro:** He’s using his jacket as a pillow.

**Pidge:** nO WAY

**Pidge:** pics or it didn’t happen

**Shiro:** I mean, I don’t know if I should…

**Pidge:** PICS

**Pidge:** OR

**Pidge:** IT

**Pidge:** DIDN’T

**Pidge:** HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Shiro:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Pidge:** AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

**Pidge:** this is Almost worth having lance captured for a week over

**Hunk:** holy shit

**Pidge:** i’m just joking i don’t mean it at all

**Pidge:** i’m sorry dfaldf

**Pidge:** literally just trying to diffuse the tension and stop thinking about it

**Pidge:** i can’t stop seeing how ragged he looked

**Pidge:** and his legs…

**Hunk:** no no you’re okay

**Hunk:** and he would totally do the same

**Hunk:** actually i bet he’ll be making jokes about it as soon as he’s awake

**Hunk:** you know him

**Shiro:** GUYS.

**Shiro:** LANC’ES POD ISO PENING

**Pidge:** incoherent texting shiro omg

**Pidge:** WAIT WHAT

**Pidge:** HOLY SHIT I’M COMING

**Shiro:** NO WAIT DON’T

**Shiro:** PIDGE DON’T COME

**Shiro:** NO ONE COME

**Pidge:** what the fuck??? why not????

**Hunk:** omg pidge

**Hunk:** u said the f word to shiro

**Hunk:** also yeah wth shiro??? I WANT TO SEE LANCE.

**Shiro:** Everyone shut up!

**Shiro:** You guys’ll never believe this.

**Pidge:** TELL US YOU HOE

**Allura:** i agree with pidge

**Allura:** aside from calling you a gardening tool

**Shiro:** Lance got out of the pod and saw Keith laying in front of it.

**Shiro:** And he JOINED HIM.

**Shiro:** They’re both just laying in front of the pod right now???

**Shiro:** Lance just laid down and started cuddling with Keith.

**Pidge:** what

**Pidge:** the

**Pidge:** fuck

**Pidge:** pics or it didn’t fucking happen

**Shiro:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Pidge:** holy shit

**Hunk:** oh my god

**Shiro:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Shiro:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Allura:** well that’s just adorable!

**Pidge:** I’M SCREAMING

**Pidge:** WHAT THE FUUUUUCCKKKKK

**Pidge:** oh my fucking god we cannot let them see this chat

**Hunk:** oh crap

**Hunk:** you’re right you’re so right

**Allura:** what?? why not??

**Pidge:** if lance scrolls back and sees this he’ll freak out

**Pidge:** he’s so in denial about liking keith

**Pidge:** but it’s rlly fuckin obvious

**Pidge:** but if he sees this he’ll FREAK OUT and like retreat and deny everything and it’ll be a huge mess

**Hunk:** pidge is right

**Shiro:** Oh no.

**Shiro:** I’m sorry.

**Shiro:** I shouldn’t have sent those pictures.

**Pidge:** uuuumm yes u absolutely should have lmao

**Pidge:** we’re just going to have to destroy this chat

**Hunk:** :(((

**Pidge:** i’m sorry hunk

**Pidge:** but it’s gotta happen

**Hunk:** i know :(((

**Hunk:** i just really like texting

**Pidge:** it won’t be forever dw

**Pidge:** when we were dragging lance off that ship he was saying something to keith remember?

**Pidge:** something about none of us answering his texts?

**Pidge:** well i’ll say our gc’s broken bc of something to do with lance trying to text us when he was on the galra ship

**Pidge:** say that it corrupted our wifi or something

**Hunk:** that literally makes no sense

**Pidge:** doesn’t matter

**Pidge:** lance’ll buy it

**Pidge:** i’ll make it sound all technical until he just tunes me out

**Allura:** aw man

**Allura:** so i guess this is goodbye :((

**Pidge:** for now

**Pidge:** operation Get Those Two Idiots Together begins now

**Pidge changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: Get Those Two Idiots Together**

**Pidge:** uploading a virus now

**Pidge:** gbye forever

**Pidge:** 134im.file.open

**Pidge:** H

**Pidge:** h — H h — h 134.im.file.open H

**Pidge shared Contact ‘STRngben’**

**Pidge changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: 28271.grab.0010110.file.open.22822**  

**Delete All Messages?**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**[15/34/20076 — 10:30]**

**Direct Message to: Lance**

**Pidge:** hey

**Lance:** OMG

**Lance:** PIDGE NO WAY

**Lance:** NO FUCKING WAY

**Lance:** YOU UNCORRUPTED OUR WIFI?

**Lance:** I’M FUCKING SOBBING THANK YOU

**Lance:** THAN KYOU THANK YOU THANKS YU

**Lance:** I’M SO SORRY FOR BREATKING IT

**Lance:** I MISSED TEXTING

**Pidge:** it’s okay!!!!!!!!

**Pidge:** seriously it’s okay don’t worry about it

**Pidge added: Hunk**

**Pidge added: Keith**

**Pidge added: Shiro**

**Pidge added: Allura**

**Lance:** THE GANG’S ALL HERE

**Lance changed the Conversation Name**

**Group Message to: REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD**

**Lance:** SOB

**Hunk:** the gc’s back!!!!

**Hunk:** HALLELUJAH!

**Lance:** I’M CRYING

**Shiro:** Oh good!

**Shiro:** This distraction is back.

**Lance:** stfu u love it shiro

**Lance:** you’re a texting fiend i Know It

**Allura:** oh yay!!!!

**Allura:** texting really is fun!

**Keith:** I thought the group chat was broken?

**Keith:** Pidge said something about Lance’s phone bringing back a virus once it reconnected to our wifi?

**Lance:** KEITH!!!!

**Lance:** you’re HERE!!!!

**Lance changed ‘Keith’’s Contact Information**

**Lance:** and she got rid of the virus

**Lance:** :’’’))))))

**Lance:** that’s why we love our pidgey SOBBBB

**Boyf:** Well I’m glad she fixed it.

**Boyf:** I actually really like texting.

**Boyf:** It’s nice.

**Lance:** you’re nice ;)

**Boyf:** Stfu.

**Shiro:** Yeah I’m gonna go ahead and say no flirting in the group chat.

**Shiro:** We see enough of that in real life.

**Lance:** u literally can’t pretend me n keith aren’t the cutest couple you’ve ever seen

**Hunk:** okay actually i’m siding with lance for once

**Lance:** HUNK ILY

**Lance:** THE LOML

**Pidge:** as much as i hate to admit it,,,

**Pidge:** you guys are really cute

**Pidge:** like ???? it’s just obvious how happy u guys make each other

**Pidge:** and ur just really comfortable and happy now it’s easy to see

**Lance:** keith is blushing

**Pidge:** you’re together???

**Lance:** ya

**Lance:** i ran in here after u texted me

**Lance:** had to share the exciting news

**Boyf:** I’m not blushing.

**Lance:** he’s lying lmao

**Lance:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Boyf:** WTF LANCE.

**Lance:** WOAH

**Hunk:** OMG

**Pidge:** WOW

**Lance:** I MADE HIM TEXT IN ALL CAPS

**Lance:** BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

**Lance:** I’M RUBBING OFF ON HIM!!!!!

**Pidge:** ew

**Lance:** what?

**Lance:** oh

**Lance:** PIDGE

**Lance:** get ur mind out of the gutter!!!!

**Pidge:** ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

**Pidge:** at least we can now finally agree why u and keith are team steam

**Pidge:** lmao

**Pidge:** “fire and water make steam uwu”

**Lance:** SHUT UP

**Lance:** THAT’S REALLY WHAT I WAS THINKING AT THE TIME

**Shiro:** Where is everyone?

**Shiro:** I thought we all agreed to meet in the training room at this time.

**Lance:** that was b4 pidge played god and created wifi for the second time

**Lance:** can’t u see that nothing else matters anymore

**Boyf:** I’ve been trying to go down there Shiro.

**Boyf:** But Lance won’t let me get up.

**Lance:** lie

**Lance:** that’s a lie shiro

**Boyf:** He’s laying on me.

**Lance:** LIIIIEEEEEEEEE

**Boyf:** [IMAGE SENT]

**Lance:** consider us broken up

**Boyf:** You would never.

**Lance:** tru

**Pidge:** disgusting

**Pidge:** i didn’t sign up for this ooeygooey crap

**Pidge:** i’m here for the MEMES

**Lance:** come for the memes, stay for the ooeygooey crap

**Pidge:** you wish

**Pidge:** i’m gonna go train with shiro

**Pidge:** bye losers

**Hunk:** i guess i’ll go too

**Hunk:** don’t want shiro to be mad at me

**Shiro:** Good choice.

**Allura:** i’m already on my way!

**Lance:** you’re all losers!!!

**Boyf:** Just get off me and we can go train too.

**Lance:** talk out loud you coward

**Boyf:** No.

**Boyf:** I want it on the record that I’m trying to go train.

**Lance:** FINE

**Lance:** we can go train

**Lance:** race u there

**Keith:** Chearjafa

**Keith:** DAFNnasdLssdf

**Pidge:** LOL i guarantee they’re running through the halls rn

**Hunk:** i just heard them screaming

**Hunk:** so you’re definitely right

**Pidge:** lmao classic

**Pidge:** i’m gonna hide behind the door and trip them

**Shiro:** Pidge, no.

**Pidge:** too late i’m already in position *angel emoji*

**Shiro:** Pidge…

**Pidge:** can’t hear you!!! turning off my phone!!!!

 

 

**[15/34/20076 — 17:02]**

**Group Message to: REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD**

**Lance:** i fucking hate you pidge

**Pidge:** I’M SO SORRY

**Pidge:** I REALLY DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD BREAK YOUR NOSE

**Lance:** just count yourself lucky i didn’t come out of this pod with a crooked nose

**Lance:** then ur life would really be over

**Boyf:** he’s just being dramatic

**Boyf:** he’s fine guys

**Lance:** yeah i am ;)

**Shiro:** Dinner’s ready guys.

**Lance:** NICE

**Lance:** goo me up!

**Hunk:** pls don’t say that

**Lance:** sorry can’t hear u, about to challenge keith to a race to the kitchen

**Hunk:** PLEASE be joking

**Hunk:** oooof course you weren’t

**Hunk:** you guys are literally the worst

**Lance:** you love us :)

**Lance:** also keith totally smashed his phone while we were racing lmao

**Lance:** so @ pidge

**Lance:** ur gonna wanna fix that up

**Pidge:** i fucking hate you guys

**Lance:** you owe me

**Lance:** for BREAKING MY NOSE!!!!

**Lance:** you do realize my nose is an important aspect of this money maker???

**Pidge:** i think you’re in debt

**Lance:** um fucking rude

**Lance:** actually u kno what

**Lance left the conversation**

**Author's Note:**

> can u tell i didn't know how to end it ???? lmfao
> 
> come say hi to me on [my tumblr](jilliancares.tumblr.com)!! or maybe pop on over to [kat's tumblr](fangirlkats.tumblr.com) and wish her a happy birthday! she reblogs volton and sometimes does her own meta and is also the nicest person i have ever had the pleasure of being friends with ???


End file.
